Sometimes I wonder...Wow! What an under-statement that is. Me? Wonder? Never. Not when you have all the answers. So your children think when they're older now experiencing some of the same things you underwent.Lately these days that's all I seem to do is wonder. I wonder about age, life in your 40's, adult children, politics, governments, religion, spirituality, being too old to enjoy life and with that, what is enjoying life?
I guess what it all boils down to is the finite human experience/life. I remember my mother saying, "By the time you learn how to live, it's time to die." Why? Is life simply and singly decided by purpose? Is it decided upon fulfillment? The fulfilling of what? A majestic call? A divine assignment? Obtaining life's treasures? Having a multitude of friends and family? Giving yourself completely to the needs of others while forsaking your own? What is the meaning to all of it?
Here at a time when I am doing more than reminiscing about my own life but life as well, I cannot help but wonder where this is all going. I've seen others give their lives for various causes and at the end...what? Were they happy? Had they truly been fulfilled (had a life worth repeating if they could)? If what we see in this life as truth is this then what we are to accept or do we look for another? Is there something else - here in this world that we can transform to, or reach for towards obtaining it? I wonder.
Here at a time when we witness more human suffrage and straight out atrocities than ever before and in this age of the Internet, education and gender equality, yet we repeatedly see cruelty on a more grotesque scale, we see young girls abducted in more numbers from one of the richest nation's and one that purports its the safest for children and yet, women and girls are trafficked like chattel slavery and I wonder.
I look at the greed of people everywhere from the corporate CEO to the individual willing to sell his/her soul to 'conjured' reality tv shows for 5 seconds of fame. Isn't it sad that after they've sold their souls to the devil, the After-Party guest lists they thought would be endless never birthed. I wonder how family and friends view you now. Did you gain or did you lose?
Families turned out into the streets, holding their breath hoping they can keep their jobs, while supervisors lay-off tenured professionals for barely adult teens straight out of high school, who'll no doubt leave for something different from what they're parents desired. While even still groans and moans from disgruntled employees surmount that new committees have to be selected to revamp old techniques for boosting employee morale, but please try to do it with no budget, no allowances, and no recognition. I wonder.
And yet with all the myriad of questions mixed with disillusionment and dismay and still... I wonder.
