Don't Change the Message - Change the Audience

No matter how difficult it may be to deliver this word - I am going to do it. I cannot remember the last time I actually developed a full blog post (not saying there haven't been many messages to post) in contrast to commenting and reviewing other posts, stories and articles. It's important for me to remember that no matter how many others are writing and expressing views and/or educating readers it is just as essential for me to continue launching my voice. It's not enough to allow others to speak for you as it is for others to confirm what you have said. This is not really the basis of this post but rather a great segue into the main points for this post.

Photo credit: Presentation Expressions

One of the hardest challenges a leader continually confronts is advising others and getting them to implement what you have advised. I have this all too often, especially as a consultant in advising others in regard to their businesses or organizations. I particularly notice this among the "Boomers" in business. I happen to be one myself so this is not aimed as an age bias but rather a significant generational difference. Oftentimes, I find this group much more reluctant to embrace social engaging as compared to others because the societal rule of the day back then was to be discreet, conservative, keep a tight lid on it and so forth. Not true nowadays. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not one for sharing  every meal portion swallowed during the days activities however, social engagement in business is crucial. This cannot be stressed enough. Unfortunately, many [Boomers] do not share this fact. It's interesting to see how this will eventually affect business and social relations over the long run.

All too often I found myself repeating the same information to the same group. If there had been significant measurable change occurring I would have gladly repeated the message even now. What has occurred is the irrecoverable time and attention lost to other matters that have led to dire consequences in business, both financially and expansively. After a lot of reflection I was able to conclude that although I was delivering the "right" message, it was the unresponsive or reluctant audience that caused the disconnect. The audience continued to revert back to the outdated processes that no longer work. It was the same effect many experienced when Microsoft faded out XP Operating System and introduced Windows 7...we balked. I thought it was the wrong message but eventually had to come to terms that it was the right message - it was simply the wrong audience.

Photo credit: Microsoft, Inc

No matter what that message is, if it has significant relevance toward moving forward, advancing and being productive in positive and strategic ways professionally and/or personally - then it's the right message!!! Is not advancement that which the majority of humans seek?

Here's what happens when you constantly repeat yourself to the same audience:

1. Drain (Burn-out). The exciting thing about advancing and growing is experiencing something 'new'. We love the feel of new money, we enjoy the smell of new leather that accompanies a new car or purse (preferably Brahmin, Furla, Chanel), or the mental stimulation from discovery; whether that be a new concept of methodology it all resonates with development. Unfortunately what happens when nothing new occurs we lose anticipation or expectancy from our stimuli. We're all motivated when we expect a certain element of change to occur in our lives. If not, it becomes nothing more than the same ol' soup warmed over.
   
2. Something here
   
   
3. Something here

Conclusively, there's nothing more damaging to one's own growth and development than to stand still and hold others' hands who refuse to act on what you've advised. Being accountable to the time allotted each of us is crucial. One message inscribed upon my tablet that shall never be removed is this: Just because the message is not received does not make the message ineffective (of no effect). Don't change the message - change the audience. 

And At The End Of This...I Found Me!

Atrocious Bobbi Boss (Visso)

This post is probably the most important post I've ever written, especially for this sequence as it concludes this volume. I really don't know how to explain this volume of writings; memoirs in particular.

You see, this actually all started in Yahoo! Yes, Yahoo! I'll never forget that fateful day when the statement came down that they were actually shutting down Yahoo Voices (if that's the correct name for it), I began my quest to find a social medium that wouldn't go away and/or continually dismantle its products thus, disenfranchising its users. Well hello to the wonderful world of Google! I've never looked back at Yahoo for anything!

I cannot say the same regarding this post because as it concludes a blog that spans more than 7 years - I have had to look back. When I first began blogging I had no idea the impact it would have on my life. Heck, I was simply looking for an outlet to vent my fear, frustration, anger, grief, and even very liberating moments I encountered all while trying to find 'me'.

Not too long before I began blogging I had completed my tenure in Boise, Idaho and moved back home (Phoenix, AZ) temporarily with plans on fulfilling a stint with Americorps. My orders never came through for some apparent reason and boy...was I glad. Because everything that happened after my move back were life events that would have been difficult to face without the familiarity and support of family, home, and friends.

During my blogging "lifetime" I ended a tumultuous relationship, I suffered a terrible spine injury that changed my whole life, I became a grandmother (that too changed my whole life), I witnessed what I call "Dignity in Death", the passing of my beloved mother who through Breast Cancer lived everyday with her dignity, her conscious mind, and her grateful heart for God and her family that she deeply cherished, I gained the best son-in-law a mother could ever hope for (great husband and dad), I lived to witness the first bi-racial (African American and Irish) President of the United States of America, my baby brother re-married, I watched my daughters continue their education (earning their undergrad and graduate degrees), I buried a dear childhood friend, my most favored aunt, an uncle, and a beloved cousin, I lived through the biggest recession of the 21st Century, and I started my own company (Vision From The Inside Consulting), I was blessed with two more beautiful granddaughters, I even went to live with my youngest daughter in Las Vegas, Nevada for a while and after all of this...I turned 50!

(After the Party - Florida)

(South Beach - Miami)  

I chronicled my life so to speak, during a time when I was trying to know myself after marriage, after raising children single-handedly for 20+ years and now, living the life as the IRS deems: Single - No Dependents. Who? Me?

Yes, me. A woman who really wanted nothing more than to have purpose and meaning in her life. A woman who had big dreams and extensive plans on how she was going to change the world! I wasn't going to be mediocre neither plain and boring...I was going out with a bang!!! I was going to show others how it was done. But something else happened after the children were reared. Something happened after all those years of struggle being a single mother at a very very young age. Something else happened!!! Life happened - again!!!

No one could have ever made me believe that I would see sunsets sitting at a kitchen table for weeks that ran into years. No one could have ever made me believe that my "get up and go would actually get up and went". No one could ever have made me believe that the internal light would go out and I wouldn't be able to "see" my way. No one told me, neither prepared me for the day when it would only be faith that I would live by. No one told me that I wouldn't be anyone's little girl anymore and that everyone would have to die. No one told me that my footprints would disappear from the earth and live now only in my mind. No one told me that the elders I so easily went to for advice, support, love and wisdom would have to bow down to die...no one told me that I would be left alone in a world that has no love for its own kind.

It was as though I was slung away from everything familiar and spent the last 7 years groping in the darkness. It's almost like being in the dark for such a prolonged time that I forgot myself; I forgot what I looked like.

But something so profound occurred recently while visiting with friends in Sacramento, California. A few weeks prior to going there I did the usual, had my hair done (you know getting ready for the Easter thing with family and such) and acting on the advice from a sales girl at the local beauty supply store - I purchased the poorest quality of tangled fibers perpetrating as human hair as one could get. That mess gave me such a horrifying experience that my good friend had to take it out while visiting Sacramento.

Severe Outbreak

Severe Outbreak

If this had been my first encounter with poor quality hair products and/or even services that I have received over time from individuals bloating their expert CV's on haircare, I would be flat out lying. Over the years, I have encountered the worst and I have encountered some of the best of hairstylists, haircare products, and manufactured hair - but this time, it was different.

Another Costly Mishap

What I came to realize was that through all of those prior years of enduring homemade perms, kitchen sink hair weaves, bearing third degree burns from extremely harsh chemicals, and encountering a severe case of seborrheic dermatitis (a scalp and skin disorder), and now this, the worsest  allergic reaction to this vile, preposterous, wiry, synthetic substitute perpetrating as human hair I've ever had - I realized that it never was truly a part of me. I was using it to define who I (thought) was. In other words, I never stepped into who I am - it was never me! My struggle was not with my hair - my struggle was with defining who I am.

It was not until now that I came full circle and stepped into the woman of yesteryear who was a woman who embodied freedom, liberality, self-expression, and most importantly, authenticity. This was the woman I set out to be so many years ago!!!

The conscious woman, the feeling and caring woman, the guiltless, unbridled, non-cowering woman that has always lived to meet challenges of the unexpected, who would strike out with a bag and a prayer and land on her feet - on top. The woman that danced in the rain, played in the ocean, and loved to set off fireworks in the crowd. She finally made it back from those deep dark oceans that kept her from getting her footing; from clenched fists to open arms she was back.

 And it happened sitting at the kitchen table, in Sacramento, after making the statement, "here I was returning to Arizona with a scarf on my head," I heard a voice coming from behind. The voice of the next generation of young strong, determined, self-thinking African American women of whom must define their own beauty according to their standards and not those of Hollywood, Vogue, neither black rappers. This voice stated, "No, you're actually going home now as the real you." [Explosion occurred and the darkness was shattered]

She was right. I came home. I came back.  --Kimetta

Finally....

Me!

Doing It Sooner Rather Than Later

This post hits on a topic that is sensitive to many when considering the twists, turns, choices and decisions we all have experienced. As I continue developing through this post, Anthony Hamilton (Coming from Where I'm from), is banging in my hears seemingly pushing me on through this post.

I actually began writing this post October 21, 2011, not realizing until now just how long this post has set in "draft" mode as well as my life right now being back in the spot where I was when this post idea originated: Time for change.

Where am I coming from? I'm coming from a point of where not having what you want, desiring more than you're actually turning out, and remaining in a limited restricting circle of influence that can't get you over to another spot, area, set that will bring greater opportunities for you to win big. This is where I coming from.

Notice this: If I actually started writing this post more than two years ago and I'm regretfully realizing that I am still in a most painful empty spot - then this post certainly suggests I've made a decision: I'm moving out of this spot. Someone else can occupy it now. I certainly have no use for it now or ever again. And as the title of this post suggests: I should have done it sooner rather than later.

I've given my all to others for as long as I can remember. There were times when giving was all I wanted and felt great doing it. But then what eventually occurred is depletion; Being totally overwrought with no reward of being refueled neither replenished. I am exhausted.

Want, unfulfilled desires, stress, pressure to deliver, over-compensating have all left me exhausted with no one standing ready to replenish what I've given. No one standing with a cold glass of water, neither is there a hot cooked meal beautifully served up on exquisite dinnerware waiting for me to dive right in for replenishment. I got noodles.

If the people you're standing with have nothing to compensate you for your work, if they have no profitable network of associates to introduce to you for further advancement, if they have nothing to offer you other than what you can offer yourself - it's time to expand your circle of 'affluence' rather than your circle of 'influence'. Influence does not always suggest good, great, positive, meaningful, etc. However, affluence always suggests a means for greater resources.

In order to acquire the things I need and want my navigational sphere has to lead me into greater resource opportunities and gain.  I can never make it to the Ocean Club if I continue vibrating at this penniless level that affords me no more than the things I do not want neither serve me.  I must extend my hand across the table to meet others that are already seated where I desire to sit. Just as I am valuable to myself, my family, my friends and my clients - then too, I am just as valuable to those who don't even know me and don't even know they need me as yet.

It isn't until I show up in my full authentic self, possessing and utilizing all the same gifting, skills, and knowledge that others are benefitting from  and have immensely enjoyed for quite some time that newcomers (affluent) can see, benefit and enjoy while at the same time greatly compensate.

Doing it now requires me to redesign, rework, and recalculate my steps in order to reposition myself. Stepping out and away from the needs of others that have blocked greater resources from getting to me and vice versa is the second requirement. Now, I have to be visible to be attractive. I have to be seen to be asked. I have to be heard in order to be favored.

I have to do it sooner rather than later. And of course, I knew this was needed October 21, 2011 when I first started this post. SMH!
 

No Abandonment Here

(Photo courtesy of Business Insider)

 

 

Because I've mostly silent through this past year - please don't misunderstand, there's no abandonment here. As with the Book of Esther, albeit God was silent still, no abandonment here. For the most part, I went in search for self, listening, reading, exploring, living, seeing, life in myself and others and how we're all connected some way somehow for the better good - so no, there's no abandonment here.

I read your posts, I heard your songs, I've seen your infographics, infocommercials, info-posts and info-notes. I've watched your webinars, attended your seminars, took notes of your lecture and mimicked your conjecture and still, no abandonment here. Again, just because I remained silent does not mean I wasn't watching, neither that I wasn't caring...what did it mean?
 

 

I watched the spaces fill with words. I listened as the "noise" of the Internet began to swell. I watched as more and more experts told you and me to speak; to soar and still abandonment never crouched near my door. I told others to speak and to so it loudly. I coached you and him and them to score - I watched and waited to see who would pick up the mantle and run straight through the door with it to score. Not one. Not even two stepped up to fill my space.

No one approached to take my place, to speak, to point, even to erase the memories of my teachings neither the rules of social engagement. My space in this place still remains -  it still holds the thunderous clap for me as I re-approach the mantle that was made for me, my voice, my mission, my quest.

No abandonment here - simply put, I am back to flow as before in the prolific, in the prophetic and the theoretic. I am here forever more.

When Clients Don't Pay (A Small Business Owner's Nightmare)

It happens in every small business owner's life: you're sought out, appointments made, confirmations take place, meetings with the clients and the meetings were successful, if you have to say so yourself.

You sit back, the client sits back, you're both basking in the after effects of a prosperous meeting when you look over expectantly for payment (Cue: screeching brakes, breaking bottles, fire alarms). The client looks a bit uncomfortable at every item in the room except your face, clears the throat and says, "I won't have any money to pay you until later," or "Can we make payment arrangements". Next, I wonder how long I can keep my mouth open like this.

You've given this client everything with passion, motivation, you've coached, you've reconstructed, deconstructed and created a blueprint for that individuals future and this hillbilly ain't got no money! And what's worse is the fact that this is known prior to the meeting that payment was expected and even after the confirmation, it was never mentioned that there was no money to pay you for any part of the consult. 

It happens to the best of us - clients who don't pay. As a small business owner this can cripple and derail a business. Our bottom line is literally our bottoms. Unless we've agreed that this is pro bono...business owners expect payment at the time services are rendered. We have to pay for fuel, living expenses, advertising, all the expenses of running a small business and living my life. Some of the differences between running a small business versus big business is the lack of finances to hire collection agencies to get mine, neither do I have time to spend in court wasting hours and time (which is money) trying to get paid. 

So how can small business owners protect themselves from clients that don't pay? Here are a few tips:

• Every small business owner should have a Paypal account
• Require payment upfront or a portion thereof
• Don't take checks or make sure it has cleared before you deposit it into your account
• Don't make concessions especially with friends unless you agree to a discounted rate (friends always want the "hook-up")
• Never enter into an agreement with anyone without clear guidelines - a contract

Last, but not least, if all else fails, Happy Hour is still 4-6PM where you can still get a "hook-up" for under $5!

As I Sit

As I sit here thinking over my life - my next steps toward promise or what others may refer to as destiny, I cringe with the burden of uncertainty as the future remains so elusive.

Elusive as in I cannot determine where I'm going or when I'll get there because my life has taught me, if anything, that I cannot depict tomorrow and the events it may bring. While I am that witness that God has brought me through as well as out, yet, I feel I am not where I wish or supposed at this age and time in life. And no, I am not reading some magazine article showcasing those who aspired to greatness by age 25. So then...where am I?

Personally, I feel that I am in one of those "Physician heal thyself" vortex that seemingly holds me prisoner yet again another year. It can all be quite depressing if entertained but yet, I cannot. It's like watching all the people around you elevate to higher plains but you're stuck in a spinning hole where the gravity of all is crushing. A place where you can't feel anymore for yourself - celebrations are for those who are excelling, achieving and/or accelerating. As I sit.

As I sit, I seemingly work but does anything really get done? I move papers, calls are answered, mail opened, read and replied to as needed, food cooked, encouraged others, created, designed, and dressed  - did anything improve, change or remain?

As I sit I pray, I meditate, I beg, I cry, I worship, I praise, and I sit. I wait to listen, even strain to hear what is being said with all eagerness to complete or willingly perform what is asked so that I may be snatched from this ever entrapping vortex....but so far, I am not.

And still....I sit.

The Hardest Part of Entrepreneurship: The Goodbye

The Hardest Part of Entrepreneurship: The Goodbye

How often have we heard the many quotes and clichés regarding leadership being a lonely road or the road less traveled? How many pictures and graphics have we seen depicting the lonely leader or maverick climbing the highest mountain, or navigating the open sea in a boat alone? Too often we read the endless flow of these type quotes auto posting Twitter timelines, filling Facebook pages, endless hashtag-carrying-quotes, and even being the signature post for email tails cell phone text strings (SMS). And what of these quotes? What was transforming in the lives of leaders (those who authored such quotes) whereby they produced such great, life-changing work that impacted global societies? I contend that it was the revelation of separating for change.

As entrepreneurs taking the necessary steps to educate and execute the varied tasks of starting viable businesses has been accomplished. No matter the industry, service or product, the guidelines for establishing a business is set; no reinventing the wheel here. But there were some things that were experienced that no amount of studying and training could teach – it had to be experienced. Successful entrepreneurs had to experience the gut wrenching –heart-twisting ache of separating from people, habits, processes, crowds and even some family if not all, to accomplish the goals necessary for building our visions and dreams. Great quotes are derived from great experiences. Marion Woodman said it best when he stated, “It takes great courage to break with one's past history and stand alone.” When you have to release the hands of those individuals or those old thoughts, behaviors, and way that no longer serve you can be rather frightening. This is a process. But a process when once lived you find yourself stronger, better, productive, moving (not aimlessly) with more direction and in purpose.
Becoming stagnant in our development occurs when we refuse to say “goodbye” to the friends, family, habits, and thoughts that continually perpetuate the same mediocre outcomes. We attempt to mask these stifled conditions with activities: meetings, conferences, shows, expos, endless networking events - we’ve done it all! 

It’s time for the “Goodbye.” It’s time to let the hands go. It’s time to lay aside the weight(s) that restricts movement, creativity, and advancement. It’s time to abhor rituals, habits and traditions that abort accomplishment. As Nate Sachs with Blueprint For Tomorrow would say, “Now it’s time to “work ON your business and not IN your business.”

It is time to tap into the new and changing landscape of philanthropy that has positioned itself to seek, support and embrace the 21^st Century social entrepreneur. It’s now time to plan with purposed precision. It is time to seek the unconventional in order to gain the stuff that dreams are made of. It is time to seek out the next revolution and we have to be in “front” of it if we are to expand our reach, our influence, our profits, and our giving. Building the courage to walk into your truth (purpose) takes much more time to build, when you don’t embrace the separation necessary for great transformation. I guess you could say no one really prepared us for the day when we would walk alone – they just assured us that by faith, we would get there. James Harvey Robinson concluded, “Greatness, in the last analysis, is largely bravery-courage in escaping from old ideas and old standards.” In moving forward, you have to be alright with the “goodbye”.

And Just Like That [Snap] Time Flew!

And just like that "time" shot pass! I looked over recent blog-posts only to find that there were no recent posts; there were NO posts. Where had I been since posting that last entry celebrating the entrance of 2010? What have I been doing that caused me to shut down the writing; the voice of the Counselor?

I could say sickness, ill health, and other major events prevented that but I am unsure if that would be altogether true. Reflecting over the past two years I see not only did I shut down in here but in my blog radio program as well, it too went silent. So what happened?

Change. Change happened within me. A great change even a transformation. The mindset especially is what changed me from feeling overly obligated to help individuals who really were not trying to help themselves but instead wanted to keep me chained to them producing nothing but the same stagnant conversations and day-to-day actions that ended bearing nothing but dead phone batteries.

A change occurred in me only after revelation came to me through the Lord Jesus Christ that in order for me to meet destiny I had to drop the weight that so easily beset me. Weight that keeps you on Facebook all day; everyday. Weight that ushers in a routine of reruns, old jokes, old movies and old lies. Weight that never pushed forward but continually pulled backwards only to keep one looking backwards at the familiar. Weight that compromised every dream, every achievement, and every possibility. Weight.

It's no different than the physically overweight that is bond from movement, from exploring beautiful antique stores, and beautiful places of travel, from indulging in the spirited events of life, so shall it is with weight overall, it keeps one from moving in the now. It keeps you off balance and always on guard. And for two years I have had to come to terms with the weight of my mind, of carrying people that I should have never picked up.

Do I find fault, point fingers, blame? No. This was a learning experience. I can hear my precious mothers' voice saying, "Experience is the best teacher." She, as always, was right...the experience lived is more valuable to me than a dozen golden roses. For experience usually is a precursor to wisdom (one would hope) and with experience - choices. And choices are truly an individual affair! Welcome back!

365!

It's here isn't it? The time of year when reality hits us that another 365 days have come and gone...just like that. All the promises and resolutions we stated that we'd begin or either end. Now we're looking at the end of another episode of 365 concluding and many of us are no further along than we were at the beginning of this year.

For some of us we can even say that nothing has changed in the 365 days of hauling butt to succeed in our endeavors and for all our hard work what do we have to show for it?

We have the knowledge that we succeeded in trying. Yes! We worked hard in our attempts to make the grade, to make the connections, to market ourselves as the professionals/experts of industry, to believe even in the face of dismal outlooks, disturbing situations and even daunting challenges. We tried at something rather than sitting and complaining about nothing!

We all had to learn some pretty hard lessons this year. We had to learn that everyone that says, "They're for us," really aren't. We had to learn that family members who love us (hopefully) but do not understand us or our quests and really couldn't be supportive is still on our Christmas lists (wink), and finally, that the tears we shed and the lone pep talks we gave ourselves actually worked...look, we made it to the end. And even though some of us have plans for 2011 that are quite different than our plans we had for 2010 due to the restructuring and reinventing that we have drafted over the past weeks - it is not because we are failures, we are winners!

We win because we're willing to try other means, other ideas, be creative will maintaining a sense of cautiousness moving still with optimism and faith that as we're blessed to be offered another 365, we will be further along and closer to our destinies as this conveyor belt of life moves us through yet another year.

Finally, in encouraging you to seek after those things that are pure and honest those things that will assist you in meeting your destinies wholeheartedly and unafraid. To live the lives you were meant to live by embracing humanity and doing your part uplifting humanity from the rungs of despair ensuring that my children and yours have a world to go into.

I wish to empower you to seek opportunities outside of the norm knowing inwardly that when you're in 'purpose' provision has already been made for you. Seek out the unknown (it may be in another country or another town), knock on doors that have been primarily closed to you for whatever reason(s). Ask, believe and move forward....and I shall see you at the end of another 365!!!

Merry Christmas dear friends! Endure a truly powerful New Year!

Simply Put, Love Loving

I was just about to click off all the browser windows open and head to bed when I decided to post this blog before completing retiring. It's well after 12AM and I can hear the rain coming down in Phoenix where we seldom smell rain let alone actually see it come down...but hey, we get a splash of Fall.

This is probably the second posting that is really interpersonal. Derived from the strained relationships oftentimes experienced within families. Yes, I said family. Sometimes we want to divorce the family we were actually born in to and most of us sometimes wish we could just scrap everything and start over - only to find out what we got is all we get!

Please know that this post isn't to send anyone off the deep end or to put you in chronic depression but it simply speaks naked truth that most times family relationships suck. And there is only one profound element that when lacking this dysfunctional unit is most pervasive is when it lacks love.

Usually the one that is dogged the most is the one the usually loves the most. They endure all the pain and bitterness from the 'blind' family member(s) that are usually the culprits of estrangement. A member may be bitter because his/her life ambitions never manifested for whatever personal reason, then too, there's that evil and hateful enemy called jealousy. You know jealousy. The deceitful, cold, dog-hearted enemy that caused one brother to kill another (Cain & Abel) simply because one chose to obey while another decided to disobey. Both provided the same opportunity and both had equal opportunity to decide rather to follow instructions. One did, another did not and because of Cain's hard headed neglect he gets mad and kills his brother, buries him and for what? For disregarding his chance to obey command he turns murderous.

Isn't that how it is still? One family member disregards instruction and chooses to live life the way they choose and hates the sibling that chooses to obey instruction (not saying that person does not make mistakes - that's not the discussion here), live his/her life no matter what the fate - someone is jealous. Someone has to become a stumbling block to the other, someone has to try to kill the dreams of the other, someone has to make an attempt to destroy the influence of the other, someone has to attempt getting more attention than the other until no one is happy and no one can lice peaceably together.

How sad it is when family can dwell together under one roof, even in the worst recession ever, when resources should be pulled together to make the load easier for all, the family has to separate due to the lack of love. Wherever love is lacking, violence is permeating.

What's even more disappointing is the fact that just because siblings grow older it doesn't get better, it actually worsens. That's how violence erupts and death occurs - because it didn't get better, the relationships worsened to the point that they didn't even regard each other as brother or sister or vice versa. One didn't regard the other as family and launched a deadly attack that left either the one or both dead. These are the things that are most disturbing and even disheartening. If family is really the nucleus of the community and we have this fate to contend with is it not apparent that the escalation of violence we witness on the evening news daily is just the repercussions of volatile family life? What else can it be? What else can we say then?

My dying mother said as best she could with slurred speech and a fading heart, "Don't recompense evil for evil. But overcome evil with good."

Wisdom spoke from her heart and warned those standing beside her as she lay dying, that in this life you will be confronted with many choices to strike back at those who offend you intentionally...to rise up and meet with force those who despitefully entreat you, causing unnecessary pain, tears, and frustration. The answer to meet this ill-treatment is not to abort one's own life by doing something criminal - but in fact, live your life much more abundantly by disallowing the hatred to throw you off course. But in fact, you live the more abundantly, happily, prosperously by doing good in the face of scorn and ridicule.

Enjoy the neighbors, enjoy friends and those times spent in the solace and security of true friendship, enjoy the days when the purple clouds cover the sun and the rain falls from the sky like sheets of water sloughing against the buildings, enjoy the water as it runs down the streets as mini urban rivers. Enjoy the quiet of the night. Love loving. Fall in love with simply loving.

This! is how you overcome the evil that is done to you. As that embittered hateful person has to contend with him or herself, alone, brooding, pathetic and pitiful, you can rejoice in the light of day, and the dark of night through the courage and enlightenment given that your days are filled with the hope of life and not the drudge of self-hatred.

Moral of the story: Simply love loving.

Goodnight.

Change...Still A Scary Thing

Today I opened my Gmail Inbox and happily found that someone reputable (other than 'Hot Body67') was actually following me on Twitter and I absolutely cannot tell you how they got my name to even begin following me but they did. Wow! This was going to be the start of a great day, I could just feel it.

Well, needless to say as most of us have already figured out that once someone follows you, more than likely you'll end up following them too. It ended up being a subscription service for social media management. Well hey, thinking to myself, I'm a business consultant so this may not be too bad. Well what happened next nearly stroked me. I was sent an article from my new followers regarding an article from Payscale.com, written by Carol Tice regarding pay salaries offered by companies employing Social Networking Site Managers, Marketing Specialist, etc. I could have died right there when I saw that wopping $120K annually for these hired guns to develop and maintain their employers social networking sites via: Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, Blogger, and other sites accordingly.

I had just a few minutes to sit, stare and attempt to absorb this mind-blowing news before running out to an afternoon consult w/a new prospect.While driving to this prospect's home, I couldn't help but ponder this question: "If corporations are willing to pay this kind of money to have someone build and maintain their social networking sites, just how much money are they making?"  I recall reading a headline the other day that in 2009, Google helped to generate $54B for businesses and nonprofits. "The report from Google looked at the economic activity generated by the company's search engine, the ads that run next to search results, the amount the company pays to Web sites that run ads, and grants made by its nonprofit arm, Google.org" (Google.com). Wow...that dear reader is quite a bit of money!

As I arrived at my meeting I sat there listening to this prospect explain their depth of PC knowledge and was looking for finding opportunities to develop the product, which of course, heavily involved SEO (search engine optimization), platform development, advertisers, that whole myriad of developing something so extensive that this would be no easy project but doable.

I began to ask the 'normal' questions regarding what tools or methods where in place to draw attention to this product, self-promotion, you know, the history and background of the expert. Then I asked the fatal question: Are you blogging? I think I passed out because when I rejoined the conversation my partner was handing me water. And then more water. Then I needed ice.

I literally could not believe that one so knowledgeable and gifted, one with so much to share with others, including the global community and yet, here this person, needing funding and promotion, visibility and investors was not using the very tools....sigh.

What are we truly afraid of we it comes to technology? That its moving so fast? What...that it has changed the way we live, work and play forever? Are we afraid that one day we're going to wake up and poof! It's all gone away as if all this was nothing more than a bad dream? What really keeps us (society) from engaging in and embracing technology? The answer is simply, change.

It's that underlying fear that we have that the world as we knew it and for the most part, didn't know us, will all but disappear, and nothing will have any relevance. If everything is going digital then what's significant? How significant is it to try to keep up with the changing times? Or change with the times? How does one make sense of the world around him or her? How have the rules of engagement changed in the workplace? In the community? At the grocers? God forbid one should go to the bank and ask a question...please! Even health-care clinics and doctors offices look like scenes from Star Trek or Battlestar Galactica with all the digital note-taking and scanning devices we are subjected to nowadays.

Yes, the world has changed. In many ways. But the one thing that is constant is that we are still human beings with human needs that won't be going away. As with moving to another city, state, country, or even making a major appliance purchase, or auto purchase...you have to get used to it. And you do it in the simplest terms...one day at a time. Engage with the tools that are most interesting, then fun. Watch demonstrations, watch young people interact with technology, and above all, don't be afraid to touch it. The best way I find to learn new programs, widgets, applications, or online services is to first make a mess of everything and then go back and correct the problems. Who has that kind of time? You do if you want to connect and embrace technology. If you want to develop and expand your business, your web presence, and possibly even attract some of that $54B economic activity being generated by those who have taken the plunge, one must find him or herself engaging in more activities other than emailing.

Make the transition as easily as possible. Start with a Google site and develop it. And pictures, music, an Amazon product carousel, a blog, monetize it, and last but not least, show it off!

Change is essential but it is also inevitable. I do not deny that at times it is not scary, but that should not make any one become paralyzed; stagnant. Keep exploring and move on into the mainstream of change. Journal your experiences and share them with others who may be experiencing the same fears. Who knows, that journal may end up being an 'ebook!' Happy Transformations!

And I Thought I was Embarassed Before

When Arizona State University denied bestowing an Honorary Doctorate Degree to our President Barak Obama, stating that he has not published a significant amount of work...I thought I would die. Especially since Arizona State has never had a U.S. President deliver the commencement address at their 'little college' before well quite naturally I was appalled and simply put...embarrassed.

Now that has been trumped by this past week's  legislation at the State House. The Concealed Weapons Law that was passed that now allows individuals to carry concealed weapons without a license signifies a "blood bath waiting to happen." Is that Wyatt Erp?

The streets of Arizona will be more like the westerns we watched as children on television when John Wayne reigned as a the prime-time king. Now police officers can shoot randomly at any of claiming we looked as if we were armed and they had probable cause to shoot up our cars, homes, and us.

Then the bigots came up with the "Birther Bill" stating our newly elected President cannot campaign here in 2012 if he chooses to campaign for another Presidential term if he does not turn over documents proving his legitimacy as a naturalized citizen. Is that John McCain voting? Oh, excuse me, my eyes are playing tricks on me tonight, I thought I saw a huge Red and Blue campaign sign for John McCain.. Senator, you were born in Panama right?

Last but certainly not least, the Immigration Bill...sigh.Can you imagine for a moment as to what would happen if Mexico simply got tired of America's bigotry and just said, "Enough. Hey Russia or North Korea, we want to shake hands with you. We want to open our arms to you and let you come in and sup with us. What will the U.S. do? Pass another Immigration Bill? This one to include shaking down Nail shops.

Arizona used Hispanic workers to build all these 'empty-foreclosed' homes built by greedy home builders and financed by lying, conniving, greedy mortgage lenders and bankers. They used Hispanic workers to clean their toilets, mow their lawns, do their laundry and babysit their children and when the economy went south...to Mexico...they now want to kick not only Hispanic peoples but anyone crossing the southern borders out. Clearly brown and black skin is being profiled. So this too makes one wonder to whom the Concealed Weapons Law is really for?  If the U.S. was not in the economic downturn that it is currently experiencing I have no doubt that the 'cheap labor' home builders profited from would still be getting exploited.

I have one more question before going to rest my 'tricky' eyes because I'm seeing so much stuff or lack of...for instance, does anyone see Border Patrol or legislation affecting the 'northern' borders as is the southern? Canadians, Bosnian s, Slovenian's, anyone white, long legs, blue eyes, blonde hair..Hollywood? Oh my, my eyes are simply making me somewhat embarrassed. Or is it Arizona?

Redeemed Or Not Redeemed?

Of all the redeemable items we see saturated among the American consumer, I often wonder if we really know the true price of redemption and as to whether or not one of the most important resources we seemingly pilfer away is actually redeemable?

We see coupons that are redeemable for what ever item(s) useful or not blighted over entire sections of advertisements relating to everything from cereal to motor oil. Even Christ redeemed our souls from eternal damnation for which the wise are most grateful.But the most precious asset we have that unashamedly and most abused that is wasted and not redeemable is 'time.' We utterly destroy our resource of time through our consistent procrastination, our constant distractions that we allow, and our fruitless acts of going nowhere fast!

Time. We do not have to pay anything for it, yet it is most precious so much so that songs have been written, volumes have been published, commandments have been given and yet, it is not cherished, and neither is it utilized to its fullest potential. The question now becomes whether or not if time had a monetary value would it be cherished more deeply?

I believe it would. simply because the majority of us were not born with 'silver-spoons' in their mouths and because of that money is heavily guarded and held to the highest regard. We all had the dreams of living large and lavish only to awaken to the hum drum of hitting a 9 to 5. So if we are required to pay for something then we place a deeper value on it than not. So what would happen if we had to pay for it...time? What if time was rationed out to us in amounts as cellphone minutes. A certain amount of time each month and after the limit was met, then you had to barter for more or pay excessive amounts of money for more. How apt would we be to guard it more precisely and actually come in each month with a surplus? I guarantee this that if that type of mandate was placed on time we would witness one of the greatest redemption's of time the world has seen. Believe me, if we had to pay for it in monetary terms...It would be utilized down to the inths of a second.

Is not it a shame that something more valuable even more than the Benjamin's is utilized less and regarded as less? Money you can always get more of - but can we say the same of time. For every second of every minute that our hearts beat, and our lungs expand to engulf air so that we breathe every effort should be spent using time to complete the most auspicious of affairs. First, we should make every effort to build, strengthen and secure those relationships that matter most in our lives. Second, we should strive to leave an inheritance for our children whether it be monetary or not, it should speak to our integrity and character; it should be a testament for the coming generations. Last, but not least, we should have put our hand to the plow of strengthening humanity to end poverty and injustice in whatever way we illustrated it through our own personal deeds.

And by doing this, it is exemplified as revering, respecting and redeeming the Time.

Same Message or Different Messenger?

Many of us think of the New Year as a new beginning, new thrills, new perspectives, even new 'dance' partners.

We make all these decrees of how we're going to do this better, and say that better, and buy this differently, or represent self more vividly, we're going to change our courses in life; change the course of our destinies in the New Year.

All of it 'sounds good and for a moment even feels good, but the underlying fact of the matter is that 99.5 percent of these decrees are not carefully planned, meditated on, sought out and never executed.

So on or about March our optimism although still superficially masking this go-getter attitude of changing our destinies is beginning to cast a waning yellowing light, we now know that if we do not hurry and implement some real, visible changes toward our quest for a better more fulfilling life we're looking at the coming summer months somewhat miserably.

God forbid that June, July, and now August has come and the reality that half the year is gone by with us having done nothing even remotely looking like change.

Albeit this entry has not started out on a hoop hoop hooray shout and wave that the New Year is here, with hand holding nostalgia, yet does not mean that I am being a 'Humbug.' So, let's get to where I am going.

Anytime true change takes place it happens inwardly and the express outward show of change is behavior modification. Even before asked, it is already visible that change has come. It's in that determined, focused look and poster that we carry ourselves in that says, "I am here on a mission and please don't bother me with foolishness."

It is visible in the relationships we relinquish or foster, it is in the way we dress, the classes we fight to enroll in or the books we get for our personal and professional development. It's even visible in our dedication to our faith-based foundations. We take note of our investments and here is the meat and potatoes of this declaration.

Our investment…The investment in ourselves. We spend time in salons looking the part. We spend time keeping the company of 'seeming' movers-and-shakers so it appears we too are of the same mind. We invest in expensive transportation and clothing to be considered among the 'serious-minded' players. We invest in everything we 'think' looks good or acceptable for meaningful change and that's exactly what it is...a look!

This time the investment cannot come solely from pocket to the back but from soul to the head. Your investment is every waking moment on developing you. Your investment is in all facets of your life. Intimate relationships with Christ, your family, your friends and (if there) your significant other are investments encouraged and should carefully be prioritized in the development process.

We understand that it is not money that makes us happy for it is no more than a tool used to advance a goal. Nothing more. An investment to financial literacy is something that should not be overlooked nor overstated. Neither should all energies be absorbed accomplishing financial gain when you are ethically, morally and spiritually challenged. Anna Nicole Smith had more wealth than some of us will ever see in 3 lifetimes and to what avail? So let's not get mislead on financial striving.

The major concern with understanding our investment is understanding the most essential aspect of the investment: Our Time.

Time is the only real asset we have. How we expend time determines how we value the investment in ourselves. No matter what you do or where you go, or even who you encounter, TIME is the richest asset given to us and the most wasted; unrecoverable. If one ever wanted to know a surefire way of knowing what the future holds, go stand in front of a mirror and ask the person standing there, "What are you doing today, right now?" This answers your question regarding the future. If you aren't doing anything today, you won't be doing anything in the future. No preparation, no planning, no executing all equals...no change.

Guard your time. You have to conscientiously know how much time you're giving to any one person as well as any project. Do not allow your time to be used up on matters that do not directly feed into your development. If we begin to consider our time as rich, rare, invaluable jewels, we would guard our time just as we would those jewels. We'd have heightened security, set times for viewing and wearing, only worn in the presence of certain company, when traveling they'd only be handled by courier and the insurance alone would be provided by the best investment house in the world. Are we not more valuable than that? Are we not valued more than mere minerals?

The only thing that can be said about both the investment of ourselves and our most precious asset, time, and the value of minerals like diamonds, gold, amethyst, sapphires, and rubies is that they are both uncertain. We don't know what the value of precious minerals will be from one day to the next, so it is with our lives. We have no idea from day to day where it will end.

But this we do know...it will end.

I Wonder Myself At Times

Sometimes I wonder...Wow! What an under-statement that is. Me? Wonder? Never. Not when you have all the answers. So your children think when they're older now experiencing some of the same things you underwent.

Lately these days that's all I seem to do is wonder. I wonder about age, life in your 40's, adult children, politics, governments, religion, spirituality, being too old to enjoy life and with that, what is enjoying life?

I guess what it all boils down to is the finite human experience/life. I remember my mother saying, "By the time you learn how to live, it's time to die." Why? Is life simply and singly decided by purpose? Is it decided upon fulfillment? The fulfilling of what? A majestic call? A divine assignment? Obtaining life's treasures? Having a multitude of friends and family? Giving yourself completely to the needs of others while forsaking your own? What is the meaning to all of it?

Here at a time when I am doing more than reminiscing about my own life but life as well, I cannot help but wonder where this is all going. I've seen others give their lives for various causes and at the end...what? Were they happy? Had they truly been fulfilled (had a life worth repeating if they could)? If what we see in this life as truth is this then what we are to accept or do we look for another? Is there something else - here in this world that we can transform to, or reach for towards obtaining it? I wonder.

Here at a time when we witness more human suffrage and straight out atrocities than ever before and in this age of the Internet, education and gender equality, yet we repeatedly see cruelty on a more grotesque scale, we see young girls abducted in more numbers from one of the richest nation's and one that purports its the safest for children and yet, women and girls are trafficked like chattel slavery and I wonder.

I look at the greed of people everywhere from the corporate CEO to the individual willing to sell his/her soul to 'conjured' reality tv shows for 5 seconds of fame. Isn't it sad that after they've sold their souls to the devil, the After-Party guest lists they thought would be endless never birthed. I wonder how family and friends view you now. Did you gain or did you lose?

Families turned out into the streets, holding their breath hoping they can keep their jobs, while supervisors lay-off tenured professionals for barely adult teens straight out of high school, who'll no doubt leave for something different from what they're parents desired. While even still groans and moans from disgruntled employees surmount that new committees have to be selected to revamp old techniques for boosting employee morale, but please try to do it with no budget, no allowances, and no recognition. I wonder.


And yet with all the myriad of questions mixed with disillusionment and dismay and still... I wonder.

What Is It About Fridays?

Fridays. Fridays? Yes...Fridays! Why do I always feel the same way each and every Friday. One would think after a thousand years (yes, sarcasm) your nostalgic or reminiscent feelings regarding life, people, folks, culture would certainly change to something else. Not the same thing again and again,

Well it is. Here we go. The same longing. The same void. The same pain. That same sense of longing.

And with so much going on in my world, one could even wonder who in the hell had time to think, let alone feel like this!

I do. Here, listening to Clarence Carter's, "The Feeling Is Right" and wondering where is the community of people who think and feel like that? Where are the ones who appreciate the rhythm, the words, the feel, the guts of what he's belting out in the tendrils of horns and heavy bass?

Where are the establishments that blast the music from the half-broken yet powerfully broadcasting jukeboxes? Where are the people who are ordering the fish plates, w/extra sides and extra hush puppies? Where are the establishments where the doors slam shut, the tables and chairs are rickety, and the tea is so sweet and cold it chills your teeth on first sip?

Where's the boulevard that's home to the beautiful, lavish cars that the men drive, yes men...I ain't trying to hear women right now...after checking in from a long work week and either headed to the streets or to the 'shack' to grab something to eat?

They all know they gonna meet up with Freddie, Joe or Eddie...Cause 9 times out ot 10, one of them owe him or them some money.

Where are the little brothers out there hustling for a dime or two; Selling bootleg DVD's, CD's, and knock-off Nike shoes and Coach bags too. Hoping and waiting to meet up wit Shanisha and maybe even go skating. Aay holla at me a l'il bit later as he slams shut his 'crackberry.' How dis li'l dude get a phone mo better than mine? Anyhow.

Where the mothers at, tired, draggin, just trying to get to the house because eventhough it's the weekend, Saturday still holds a day of laundry, dishes, and whatever else.

No guessing involved...it ain't hrere! And it never will be. Not where I still hear the words 'Cinco de Mayo' being song by neighbors on both sides.

It won't happen where the culture badly missed is seen as something of yesteryear, or something that the new fangled spohisticated folks don't engage in...Oh no, it's too ghetto. You know we don't get down like that. We too busy tryin to eat at the Red Lobster. Joes Crab Shack or that wasteful place called Pappadeaux's. Naw, naw y'all. We can't go up in Mrs. White's to eat...That ain't where we can be seen.

I'm going somewhere in life. I'm going where there ain't no blacks. Honey they far and few in between. Where I'm moving, they ain't coming because first, you hav to be able to afford where I'm going, then second, you don't want to be seen fellowshipping with them kind, you know, the ones you tryin to get ghost from.

But ain't the Internet wonderful. Because after you move to your exclusive subdivision, you can always log onto Pandora, Limewire or Napster only to locate and find, Clarence Carter so he can help soothe the longing in your soul for the blackness you tryin to refute.

The feeling is right and the time is right now...Um hmmmm. um hmmm, um hmmm.

The Man...Michael Jackson

Pain. Both physically and spiritually, emotionally suffering. No one can really understand the full gist of what he endured. Because until you have 'stood' under the pressure, and loneliness, and ridicule, and bitterness, and sometimes pure hatred surmounting in the battle of attacks on your person, your persona, your life, your memories, your family, your status, you can't touch it.

Albeit, we (the world) watched his transformation, but we really never fully understood it. Although the well written article by Howard Dodson, Director, Schomburg Center for Research in Black Culture attempted to articulate the gravity of the person of Michael Jackson, it failed to acknowledge this one thing: That in his 'giving' he was the example to the world that that was the true showmanship.

We can talk about a whole a lot of things but let's talk what it really is. When you have given so, that books attempt to record that which they cannot. When you gave not only from your pocket, but also from your soul and when it is depleted and nothing returns. Then the question is asked: What was he filling up on? Who or what was pouring in to him?

He was giving. Did he give too much? Was too much expected? Is that where he lost sight of the real, in the self-less?

I don't know. None of us do. We just know we lost Michael, why? Only his Creator knows that. For a man is allotted a certain time upon this earth and then...But I guess the only thing we really do know, is what he left, and it wasn't a dance.