Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Simply Put, Love Loving

I was just about to click off all the browser windows open and head to bed when I decided to post this blog before completing retiring. It's well after 12AM and I can hear the rain coming down in Phoenix where we seldom smell rain let alone actually see it come down...but hey, we get a splash of Fall.
This is probably the second posting that is really interpersonal. Derived from the strained relationships oftentimes experienced within families. Yes, I said family. Sometimes we want to divorce the family we were actually born in to and most of us sometimes wish we could just scrap everything and start over - only to find out what we got is all we get!
Please know that this post isn't to send anyone off the deep end or to put you in chronic depression but it simply speaks naked truth that most times family relationships suck. And there is only one profound element that when lacking this dysfunctional unit is most pervasive is when it lacks love.
Usually the one that is dogged the most is the one the usually loves the most. They endure all the pain and bitterness from the 'blind' family member(s) that are usually the culprits of estrangement. A member may be bitter because his/her life ambitions never manifested for whatever personal reason, then too, there's that evil and hateful enemy called jealousy. You know jealousy. The deceitful, cold, dog-hearted enemy that caused one brother to kill another (Cain & Abel) simply because one chose to obey while another decided to disobey. Both provided the same opportunity and both had equal opportunity to decide rather to follow instructions. One did, another did not and because of Cain's hard headed neglect he gets mad and kills his brother, buries him and for what? For disregarding his chance to obey command he turns murderous.
Isn't that how it is still? One family member disregards instruction and chooses to live life the way they choose and hates the sibling that chooses to obey instruction (not saying that person does not make mistakes - that's not the discussion here), live his/her life no matter what the fate - someone is jealous. Someone has to become a stumbling block to the other, someone has to try to kill the dreams of the other, someone has to make an attempt to destroy the influence of the other, someone has to attempt getting more attention than the other until no one is happy and no one can lice peaceably together.
How sad it is when family can dwell together under one roof, even in the worst recession ever, when resources should be pulled together to make the load easier for all, the family has to separate due to the lack of love. Wherever love is lacking, violence is permeating.
What's even more disappointing is the fact that just because siblings grow older it doesn't get better, it actually worsens. That's how violence erupts and death occurs - because it didn't get better, the relationships worsened to the point that they didn't even regard each other as brother or sister or vice versa. One didn't regard the other as family and launched a deadly attack that left either the one or both dead. These are the things that are most disturbing and even disheartening. If family is really the nucleus of the community and we have this fate to contend with is it not apparent that the escalation of violence we witness on the evening news daily is just the repercussions of volatile family life? What else can it be? What else can we say then?
My dying mother said as best she could with slurred speech and a fading heart, "Don't recompense evil for evil. But overcome evil with good."
Wisdom spoke from her heart and warned those standing beside her as she lay dying, that in this life you will be confronted with many choices to strike back at those who offend you intentionally...to rise up and meet with force those who despitefully entreat you, causing unnecessary pain, tears, and frustration. The answer to meet this ill-treatment is not to abort one's own life by doing something criminal - but in fact, live your life much more abundantly by disallowing the hatred to throw you off course. But in fact, you live the more abundantly, happily, prosperously by doing good in the face of scorn and ridicule.
Enjoy the neighbors, enjoy friends and those times spent in the solace and security of true friendship, enjoy the days when the purple clouds cover the sun and the rain falls from the sky like sheets of water sloughing against the buildings, enjoy the water as it runs down the streets as mini urban rivers. Enjoy the quiet of the night. Love loving. Fall in love with simply loving.
This! is how you overcome the evil that is done to you. As that embittered hateful person has to contend with him or herself, alone, brooding, pathetic and pitiful, you can rejoice in the light of day, and the dark of night through the courage and enlightenment given that your days are filled with the hope of life and not the drudge of self-hatred.
Moral of the story: Simply love loving.
Goodnight.

2 comments:

  1. Oh Lord, is everything alright in Phx? Lol! I hope there is no blood shed over in the camp. Well put mom, that was a good blog post.

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  2. Read your article and felt compelled to respond after reading it twice. Your view is insightful and true in nature. However, I would like to point out love is objective. Meaning, everyone doesn't hold the same definition of love. We know this from men and women. Man fixes the care, expresses his love, but woman wants attention. Same in family situations. I am speaking experimental and not textbook, because I too agree some of the crappiest relationships are in families, but on the other hand two of my bestfriends are close family members. When I was younger I thought love was when I got new things, or just being able to buy stuff I wanted. Now that I am older and my perspective has change, I realize that is not love. So, sometimes we have to put ourselves in the other person's world and try to understand what love means to them. Love may mean providing and giving monetary gifts, or love may mean being kind and spending time with one another. However love is define to an individual that's all they see. Try it, put on the other person's shoes and honestly internalize what they could be feeling and seeing, then make the proper adjustments. Now, to love and to get along are two different topics and I will wait for you to blog that one. Interesting perspective thank you for sharing.

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