No one knows better than I how loneliness can drive you seemingly insane. You begin to think about old friends and even enemies at some point. You can even go as far as to rethink their cruel attempts to cut you down as something you can live with if only it would take away that which is driving you...Loneliness.
So I find myself sitting, reminiscing of a time when life in the fast lane was like the 'thang' to do. Fast cars, men, and friends. Never bored and never alone. As a matter of fact, there were times when all you wished was to be alone.
Times change. We change. We hear the old saying, Staying Young At Heart, to mean what?
When going out 'to play' seems like something that was left so far in your past you actually forget what play was. Was play the foolish words and phrases we used? Or was it the crazy haircuts and fashions we wore? Or maybe the zillions of guys we dated only to throw them away like last years shoes? What was play and why do I long for it now?
Was it a time when I had both parents and my security blanket was tight and snug? Or was it a time when they were just both here on earth?
Maybe it was when I felt like changing hairdo every other week, including the color? Was it seeing how my daughter's friends would whisper how cool their mother was? Maybe even taking a bus ride for the hell of it because I could and then flirting w/the driver?
What was going out to play? I wish I knew so I could do that now because my life now consists of... Not going out to play.
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